Tuesday, February 14, 2006

Cupid Must Fall

My good friend "Angry" Nick Jones and I have a tradition. We write Anti-Valentine's day poems to vent our frustration. Hey, it' either this or we start busting balloons and stealing heart-shaped boxes of candy. You don't wanna see us good guys turn to a life of crime, do ya? Didn't think so. Without further adieu, here is my piece, Maybe I'm better off alone

Maybe I'm Better Off Alone

Nobody needs nobody, All I need is me and my dogs...forget all a ya'll
Nobody needs nobody, All I need is me and my dogs...forget all a ya'll

Here we are on another Valentine's day, and here I am...alone again.

But see, this year, I had a realization: Maybe, just maybe, I'm better off alone.

Oh, I admit that I get lonely, I admit that I crave warmth and affection.

Heck, when I was watching the Super Bowl this year, Aretha Franklin started looking good to me.

But maybe, just maybe, I'm better off alone.

See, I see a lot of relationships that are, well, basically, full of crap!

They're false, they don't mean anything; it's just two cowards who are scared to be alone and this person seems like the most likely candidate at the time.

That's not love, it's a relationship by default, and I don't want my relationship to be some pathetic contest where you settle for the participant or honourable mention ribbon.

If I love, I want the first place trophy! The big loving cup...and I do mean loving, baby!

It's gone from "Hey, you're the one I wanna be with for the rest of my life" to " Okay, you'll do", and that's sad, that's weak.

It's also the move of cowards, and God has not given us a spirit of fear.

And see, I may be lonely, but at least in this situation, I'm not a coward.

Many of these so-called relationships are just houses of cards ever so close to tumbling down.

And that, dear friends, is why I say that maybe, just maybe, I'm better off alone.. It's not like I'm not loved, God loves me, my mama loves me, my female friends think I'm...well...friendly, I guess.

But in spite of all that, yes, I may be lonely, yes I may be a little pathetic, I may be close to pitiful, but by God, I'm honest about it, no pseudo-relationships here. Honestly, some of these fakers make my head hurt!

And this is by no means an indictment on those who truly, deeply love each other. This is to the cowards who cling to a love that has long since died like some necrophiliac dry humping a corpse. Dead things go in the ground, people. Call the mortician, get a casket, buy your dead love a fly suit from K&G, call Mamanem, set the date, have the wake, go to the church, have a good cry, drop the casket, and be sure to get a few of those roses from Exxon, because your dead love is not worth a trip to the floral shop.

And it's cool, because I've buried things, too. My hope, my dreams about marriage and children, and those dreams of picket fences, back yards, and a dog named Scruffy, I mean, Killer! Yeah, keep it hood!

But when I see all the garbage, all the settling, and all the drama that people go through for a so-called love that is more like a combination of lust and convenience, I think that



I'm better off alone.

Nobody needs nobody, all I need is me and my dogs, forget all a ya'll

Nobody needs nobody, all I need is me and my dogs, forget all a ya''ll


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