Hello: Is Anybody Out There?

I'm down, faithful readers. Down in the dumps, that is. I'm putting the "mel" in melancholy right now. Mainly over my current life's direction. I am burnt out at my job, I really need a vacation. My other developing side career, acting, is going through a "dry" period. I can't really do plays because I work the second shift. Many auditions are also on Saturday mornings. Guess who works almost EVERY Saturday from 9AM til 1PM? That's right, it's me. One guy was willing to work with me if I sent in a monologue. My filmmaking friend and I crafted a great audition tape. The only problem was, his VCR was broken so it took him a minute to edit it. And, I got sick so by the time he was finished I would have had to go all the way across town and lug it back. I was REALLY sick. I was barely making it to work. Then, I didn't prepare like I should have and blew another audition. Then, I called one number but never sent my info. Foolish me. I called them today, and they're done with casting. I have a few glimmers of hope. There is a photographer from New York doing lifestyle photos for a project. He and I have been in communication. I sent him some photos last week. Also, I saw another movie audition being held this Sunday. I can do that. I MUST, however, send them my info tomorrow. As for the three movies I shot scenes for last year, two are going through the final editing process. The one where I have the most lines is the one me and my friend, Rod, are working on. (I'm sick of this no names in my blog crap, some people have to be named). I finished my scenes last year; we are STILL shooting! It's not really our fault, people just won't come through. Everybody wants to be an actor, but nobody wants to work. Maybe I should take my own advice. The winter was dry, I checked and checked, but there were no auditions in the paper. I guess I lost my hunger. These rejections and acts of self-sabotage have got to stop. At least I am writing now. Of course, by writing I mean this blog that used to be a lot more frequent and pieces of screenplays and raps, but I am trying to be more productive. I just pray that we can finish this movie and that I kill on this audition Sunday. I'm down...but I'm a long, long way from out! Although I was hoping for a more lucrative career before I staged my first comeback, it is what it is. Operation: Indie Film Hunt is now in effect! Be easy.