Monday, June 30, 2008

Work, DVDs, and Solitude: The Weekend Wrap-Up


I got off work, got something to eat, watched wrestling. Woo hoo. I know, my life is so crazy, right?


I worked until 5 PM, then I went to the Comics and Collectibles. Shout out to Donnie and Sean George. We looked at movie trailers online, talked about sports, and insulted each other for a while. You know, guy stuff. After that, I went to Cici's Pizza on Germantown Parkway. I think I saw a girl that I went to high school with. She would playfully flirt with me my freshman year, but she wasn't serious. I saw kids around her, too. I thought that they might have been hers. I didn't feel like speaking because everybody in high school thought that I was some super genius, which I'm not. I was inconsistent my first two years of high school. I buckled down my junior and senior year. They would be shocked to hear I am not pulling in 6 figures. Also, I didn't feel like hearing any more, "You don't have any kids? What are you waiting on?" conversations. The only open table was the one agains the emergency exit. I was in a corner watching all this activity happen around me, but I felt alone. Once again, the fear of dying alone set in. I went home, watched my Juno DVD, and went to sleep around 10 PM. Oh, the single life.


I got up early, but I still couldn't bring myself to go to church. I just couldn't stand being around humanity for a little while. I spent most of the day watching Juno on DVD. I watched the entire DVD. I mean, all the special features, trailers, everything. I like to watch all my DVDs in their entirety at least once. I'm weird that way. Later that evening, I went over Shomari Gant's house and watched a little WWE pay-per-view wrestling. It was cool. Me and my friends laughed and joked, and my lonely existence was temporarily eased.

I went home, and my brother and his friends were watching Body of Evidence on the Independent Film Channel. The movie starred Madonna as a woman accused of killing her lover. Willem Dafoe was her attorney. He begins cheating on his wife with Madonna's character. Wow. There were a lot of explicit scenes in that film, let me tell you. I shouldn't have watched it, but darn it, the wrestling DVD in my room just could not hold my attention with THAT film on in the living room. In a twisted way, the movie makes a strong statement for monogamy in relationships. Willem Dafoe's character threw everything away messing around with Madonna's character. Should've been faithful to his wife. The grass isn't always greener on the other side.

I met with Timm Scalita about his film Chelsea last week. I have had some more talks and readings, but nothing is set in stone. I really want to act in something soon. I remember that two years ago, I had anxiety about getting older. I still got older. I also had anxiety about dying alone. I'm still alone. I also had anxiety about not wanting to always be ordinary, about wanting to make a mark. I still have time to do that. All I have is my faith and my dreams. I have to strengthen my faith and focus on my dreams. I know I can't get depressed again, because when I get depressed, I eat. I don't want to start getting fat again. I just have to keep going. Be easy, readers.


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