Wednesday, December 28, 2005

Holding On

Yesterday, Rod Pitts, Bryan Newcomb, and myself went to Best Buy. Rod purchased a hard drive, Bryan watched the Tigers whoop Gonzaga (Go Big Blue!), and I purchased Napoleon Dynamite on DVD for $12.99 (Flippin' Sweeet!). I was in a mood. I was very bitter and jaded and sarcastic. I have come to a realization:

I just don't give a damn right now.

I have been battiling burnout, asking myself do I still love acting. The answer is yes, but not in the same way. I need it, I crave the outlet. I am an attention whore, and I love being on stage. I can't help myself. Also, I have to find creative ways to let off steam from my day job. If I didn't have this outlet, I'd curse some people out, pimpslap my supervisor, go to jail, and have to fight off some dude named Bubba who'd probably try to make me his wife. Oh, wow, that was gross, wasn't it? Too damn bad! Forgive me, I 'm in a mood yet again. I have to stay in acting. It's all I got. All I have is my faith, hopes, and dreams. Hell, I'm lonely. No girlfriend, no wife, definitely no kids. Shoot, a brother like me ain't even got a partner to kick it with. Also, I am sick of being told what to do for peanuts. I don't mind being told what to do on set. That's fulfilling the director's vision, which helps my vision, too. Being told what to do at this damn place?! This crap's for the birds. Therefore, I will ride this horse until the wheels fall off. I can't give up now. I may be lonely, but hopefully, one day I can wipe my eyes with hundred dollar bills. Boo hoo, boo hoo! So, I am focused, and I understand what I must do. It's get free or die trying. Damn, I need a hug. Be easy, readers. Get free at all costs! Flee corporate tyranny! Hell, dream a little dream. Dream a big dream. Do what is in your heart. Unless it's in your heart to be a serial killer or something. That's just sick. Oh, well, enough rambling, until the next time: same blog address, same blog ramblings.


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